'Purity and Purpose: Embracing Abstinence Before Marriage in Faith'

Abstinence Before Marriage

In today's "hook-up culture," the idea of abstinence before marriage is often dismissed as old-fashioned and unrealistic. However, as Christians, it is important for us to understand that God designed sex to be enjoyed within the context of a committed marital relationship. When God brought Adam and Eve together in marriage, He established the "one flesh" relationship (Genesis 2:24). The Bible is clear in its teaching that sex before marriage is considered sinful (Acts 15:20; 1 Corinthians 5:1; 6:13, 18; 10:8; 2 Corinthians 12:21; Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Jude 7). Therefore, complete abstinence before marriage is commanded by God.

Some may argue that abstinence before marriage is unrealistic in today's culture. However, we must remember that God's truth is eternal and not bound by cultural norms. While sexual abstinence may be difficult and require commitment, self-control, and strategy, it is not impossible. In fact, choosing abstinence can be seen as a rebellion against the sexually enlightened culture that promotes casual sex. This culture has brought about negative consequences such as porn addiction, sexually transmitted diseases, emotional damage, and abortion on demand.

It is crucial to understand that sex should not be viewed as something casual or insignificant. Describing sex as "casual" diminishes its true value and purpose. Sex was designed by God to be a special and intimate act reserved for the marriage relationship. Even if you are in a committed relationship or engaged to be married, it is still important to wait until marriage to engage in sexual activity. Doing so will deepen your relationship and prevent future regrets.

For those who struggle with the idea of abstinence, it is often because they have not been given the tools or support to live it out. It is important to remember that no one should force you to have sex before marriage, and you have the power to honor God by saving sex for a marriage relationship. Here are some practical tips that can help:

1. Be a rebel in the culture: Understand that choosing abstinence may go against cultural norms, but it is a way to honor God and His plan for your life.
2. Keep your focus on Christ: The ultimate goal of abstinence is not just to save sex for marriage, but to become more like Christ. Your relationship with Him should be your primary focus.
3. Avoid compromising situations: Be mindful of the situations that may tempt you to compromise your values or sexual purity. This may mean avoiding being alone with someone or putting yourself in environments where you will be tempted.
4. Date like-minded individuals: When both you and your partner are committed to abstinence, you can support and encourage each other in maintaining the commitment.
5. Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and communicate them with your partner. It can be helpful to have an accountability partner, such as a trusted friend or mentor, to keep you on track.

Abstinence goes beyond simply refraining from sexual activity before marriage. It also involves striving for sexual purity in all areas of life, including thoughts, words, and actions. If you find yourself constantly thinking about or talking about sex, it may be more challenging to remain abstinent.

In times of temptation, remember that God is faithful and will provide a way out (1 Corinthians 10:13). Abstinence may not always be easy, but with God's help, it is possible. If you have already engaged in sexual activity outside of marriage, know that God offers forgiveness and healing. It is never too late to make the choice to live righteously and please Him.

Why This Matters

Understanding and practicing abstinence before marriage is important for Christians because it aligns with God's design for sex. By choosing abstinence, we honor God and His plan for our lives. It also helps us avoid the negative consequences that can arise from casual sexual relationships, such as emotional damage, sexually transmitted diseases, and unplanned pregnancies. Abstinence allows us to build a solid foundation for a healthy and fulfilling marriage.

Think About It

1. How has the culture influenced your views on sex and abstinence? Do you find it challenging to go against cultural norms?
2. In what ways can practicing abstinence before marriage deepen your relationship with your future spouse?
3. Are there any boundaries or changes you need to make in your dating relationships to promote abstinence? How can you find support and accountability in maintaining this commitment?
4. If you have engaged in sexual activity outside of marriage, how can you seek forgiveness and healing from God?

Remember that God's truth does not change based on cultural trends. He has established sex to be limited to marriage, and He will equip you to honor Him through abstinence.