'7 Essential Things to Consider Before Marriage: A Christian Guide'

Before Marriage: A Biblical Perspective

In today's modern society, the view of sex before marriage has become increasingly permissive. Studies have shown that a significant number of young people engage in premarital sex, with statistics indicating that 75 percent of American teenagers have had sexual relations before marriage. Furthermore, by the time unmarried individuals reach the age of 44, this number climbs to a staggering 95 percent (Finer, L., The Guttmacher Institute, January—February 2007, vol 122, pp 73–78). Even among self-identified Christians, societal attitudes are changing, with 57 percent of U.S. adults believing that premarital sex in a committed relationship is sometimes or always acceptable (Pew Research Center, https://pewrsr.ch/3lJyBBE, accessed 11/8/22).

For Christians who take the Bible seriously, these statistics are concerning. The Bible provides clear guidance on physical intimacy outside of marriage. Ephesians 5:3 states, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity because these are improper for God's holy people." This command sets strict boundaries for God's people – not even a hint of immorality should be found among them.

Determining the appropriate level of physical intimacy before marriage is a decision that every unmarried couple must make. The Bible categorizes fornication as sinful, making sexual intercourse before marriage off-limits. Other sexual acts such as oral or anal sex also fall under the definition of sexual immorality. However, the boundaries must be even stricter than that – anything that even hints at sexual immorality is inappropriate for a Christian.

While the Bible does not provide an exhaustive list of activities that hint at immorality, it emphasizes that sexual immorality should not exist among God's people. The goal is to avoid any occasion for observers to mention such behavior. Any accusation of immorality or inappropriate conduct within the church should be wholly untrue.

So, where should the line be drawn? How much intimacy is too much before marriage? Since sexual intercourse is wrong for unmarried couples, behaviors that lead to it should also be curtailed. Therefore, foreplay, which is the natural prelude to sexual intercourse, should be restricted to married couples. This logically includes activities such as fondling, nudity, and erotic conversations and behaviors.

Each unmarried Christian couple should know their own convictions and stick to them. Some couples may draw the line at light kissing, while others may stop at holding hands. There may be couples who set even stricter boundaries for conscience's sake. The important thing is that each individual believer is allowed to live according to their own convictions without violating their conscience. If there is any doubt about whether an activity is right for an unmarried couple, it should be avoided for the sake of caution (Romans 14:23). Christians have been set apart by God for His holy purposes, and it is crucial to avoid any form of immorality. Scripture provides strong warnings on this matter: "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins... For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life" (1 Thessalonians 4:3–7).

All sexual activity and foreplay should be restricted to married couples. An unmarried couple should avoid any activity that tempts them toward sex, gives the appearance of immorality, or violates their conscience.

Why This Matters

Understanding the biblical perspective on sex before marriage is crucial for Christians. It helps us align our actions with God's design for human relationships and sexual intimacy. By following these guidelines, we honor God's commandments and strive to live a life that is holy and pleasing to Him.

Think About It

1. How has society's view of sex before marriage evolved over time? What are the implications of this shift for Christians?

2. Why is it important for Christians to set boundaries and avoid any activity that hints at sexual immorality, even before marriage?

3. Consider your own convictions about physical intimacy before marriage. How can you ensure that your actions align with your beliefs and honor God's commandments?